Social media can be a powerful tool — it connects us with friends across the world, gives us platforms to share our creativity, and even helps us grow businesses or careers. But for many people, what starts as connection quietly becomes a source of stress, comparison, and hypervigilance.

If you’ve ever noticed yourself feeling drained after scrolling, worried about how you’re perceived, or even watched by family and friends, you’re not alone. Research shows that heavy social media use is associated with higher levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness, especially when it leads to comparison or passive consumption (Twenge & Campbell, 2018; Appel et al., 2020).

Signs Social Media May Be Hurting More Than Helping

1. Energy check.
Ask yourself: Do I feel better or worse after being on the app?
If you often leave feeling anxious, jealous, or mentally exhausted, that’s a sign your nervous system is taking a hit. Studies show that upward social comparison — measuring yourself against curated images of others’ lives — can increase feelings of inadequacy and lower self-esteem (Vogel et al., 2014).

2. Return on investment.
Is this helping me reach my goals, or just consuming my time and peace?
Social media can be a great tool when it aligns with personal or professional goals — like connecting with community, sharing meaningful work, or learning new skills. But when scrolling becomes habitual rather than intentional, it often replaces activities that truly fuel well-being, like rest, in-person connection, or hobbies.

3. Boundaries.
Do I feel like I can control how I use it, or does it control me?
If you feel a compulsion to check notifications, post for approval, or monitor how others see you, the app may be controlling more of your energy than you’d like. Research on problematic social media use shows it can activate reward systems in the brain similar to addictive behaviors (Andreassen, 2015).

The Added Layer of Cultural and Family Dynamics

For people from collectivist cultures, social media brings an extra layer of pressure. Many clients describe feeling constantly “watched” — not only by friends or peers, but also by extended family or community members. In cultures where reputation, respect, and family honor are highly valued, social media can become a public stage for judgment or comparison. This surveillance-like feeling increases stress and can make it harder to truly express yourself online (Naeem, 2021).

How to Step Back in a Healthy Way

Sometimes, the healthiest move is to take a step back — whether through:

• Temporarily deactivating your account
• Logging out during certain hours
• Setting app limits or deleting apps from your phone
• Creating private spaces online where you can show up authentically

Social media should serve you, not the other way around. Protecting your peace and mental health is always more important than maintaining an online presence.

Final Thought

Taking breaks doesn’t mean you’re weak, antisocial, or “falling behind.” It means you’re choosing intentional living over autopilot scrolling. When you reclaim your time and energy, you open more space for real-life connection, creativity, and growth — on your own terms.

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References

• Andreassen, C. S. (2015). Online social network site addiction: A comprehensive review. Current Addiction Reports, 2(2), 175–184.
• Appel, H., Gerlach, A. L., & Crusius, J. (2020). The interplay between social comparison and Facebook use: A systematic review. Current Opinion in Psychology, 36, 32–37.
• Naeem, M. (2021). The role of social media in cultural identity and collective belonging: A case of collectivist societies. Technology in Society, 66, 101647.
• Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2018). Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents. Preventive Medicine Reports, 12, 271–283.
• Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206–222.