If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why does finding the right person feel so exhausting?” — you’re not alone.
So many of us, especially deep feelers and high-achievers, find ourselves doing all the emotional work while trying to build meaningful connections that never fully land.

You’re healing. Growing. Learning to recognize red flags. And still, somehow, you keep hearing:
"You're beautiful, smart, amazing... but I'm not ready for a anything serious."

It’s a cycle that wears on your spirit.
And it makes you wonder — what am I doing wrong?

You’re Not the Problem. The Pattern Is.

When you’re emotionally available in a world full of emotionally unavailable people, you’ll often find yourself being drawn to those who feel familiar — not safe. That could mean people who are distant, avoidant, inconsistent, or simply not in a place to build something real.

If you're someone who grew up around emotional detachment, you may unconsciously find yourself trying to "unlock" love — chasing it, fixing it, earning it. That’s not love. That’s survival.

And it’s why dating while healing can feel so lonely.

What You’re Really Craving Is Emotional Safety

Love shouldn’t feel confusing.
It shouldn’t make you question your worth.
It shouldn’t be something you have to earn through over-giving, proving, or waiting for someone to finally be ready.

You’re not “too much.”
You’re just no longer available for love that’s not enough.

How to Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable People

It starts with honoring what you actually want — and staying true to it even when you're tempted to shrink.

Ask yourself:

• Do they follow through consistently?
• Do I feel grounded or anxious after interacting with them?
• Are they clear about their intentions — or am I constantly guessing?

You’re allowed to walk away from people who say the right things but can’t meet you emotionally. That’s not selfish — that’s self-trust.

A Note to the One Who’s Tired of Trying

If you’re feeling like love is passing you by while everyone else finds their person — I get it. It’s okay to feel heartbroken by the process. It’s okay to want something real without having to become smaller, quieter, or more patient.

Please don’t numb yourself to protect your hope.
And don’t let old patterns convince you to settle.

You deserve a love that sees you and stays — one that brings peace, not pain.
Until then, keep choosing yourself. Over and over again.

With love and faith,
Z